Thursday, October 2, 2008

Life without Electricity

Salut! Ca va? Pour moi, ca va comme ci comme ca. My landlord has finally felt so bad for me that he's created an arrangement with the lady that lives two floors above me. She's on vacation so I got her key and I'm able to use her apartment to shower and plug in my phone and computer to recharge them. In return, I just have to feed her cat, Lolita, twice a day =) Sounds great right?

Almost. Except its AAAAWWWWKWAAAARRRDD!! I think thats pretty much the only word I can use that would sum up the entire situation (The situation of staying at her place that is...not the situation of not having electricity. The latter would be described as a Pain in the @$$). So the first thing I notice before my landlord evn opens the door is the cat. I can her hear "talking" It sounds like she's pissed that I'm coming and will scratch my eyes out as soon as we're alone but my landlord has assured me that Lolita's just speaking to me in a friendly manner. Anyway, when I walk in through the her door, there are all these posters. Clearly this lady smokes.

I'm sure you can infer what it means but it says "Cannibus needs YOU!" =).















Then I walk into the bedroom and see her nightstand. Can you see it? It's HUMAN SKULL!! Next to a freaky statue no less (look at its eyes!). I've taken my fair share of anatomy classes and that's no ape skull or monkey skull. It's human...and it's missing a jaw. Anyway, that pretty much sealed the deal on me NOT sleeping at her place. I figured I'd rather sleep in my apartment with no heat and freezing temperatures than to be cursed. Which will bring me to another story in a sec but let me finish the "tour".



This is just another view from the stairwell. Her apartment is different from mine. Mine is just a one story studette, while hers is two stories. Anyway, there's another weird statue and that bowl has like acorns or something in it. But I don't think it's for food, it's for praying maybe. Don't ask me why you would pray with acorns...I'm just speculating.













Finally it's the bathroom. Can you see the ceiling isn't quite straight? So you have to sit in the tub in fetal position and hose yourself off with that hose thing wrapped around the faucet. It's not even a spray. It's literally like a garden hose with warm water. And I'm not a large person but even I feel cramped sitting down like that. My head touches the side of the wall. I'm not sure how larger people (larger being anyone taller than 5'2") would be able to do this.

So that night, I took my first "shower" in this tub thing and it was the most awkward thing. First of all, the window next to this bathroom has no drapes and there's no door to this bathroom at all. So as you're undressing for the shower, all the neighbors can see you. I saw them so I'm pretty sure they can see me. Then, as I'm showering, the cat never stopped talking! She sat right next to me and watched me as I'm splashing water all over the place cuz the stupid hose is so slippery. So with the neighbors and the cat, it was a huge exhibitionist show.

Anyway, that was the first night. It's been a few days of this now and it's not so bad. In fact, I kinda like this cat alot. She really does just talk non-stop but in a really cute way. In the mornings, I go up to straighten my hair and do my make up and feed her so she shares the chair with me while I get ready. And then in the evenings, she watches me shower and get ready for bed and we play for a bit before I head over back to my freezing apartment. Ooh...and when I say cold...it's COOLLLD. I wear two pairs of pants tucked into my socks, a camisole, 2 sweaters, a down jacket and a scarf to bed. And I'm STILL cold! I just keep reminding myself that it's better than sleeping next to human remains.

Anyway, I've spoken to my landlord and I'm supposed to get electricity tonight (again). This is the 4th time he's told me that so my faith in him is slightly dwindling. In the meantime, these are my current living arrangements and contrary to what my classmates are saying, I AM showering =) Its not as bad as it seems and I know you guys are going to think I'm making this stuff up which is why I had to take pictures =) Alright, talk to you soon!

PS. Ooh random side note. Today I spoke to the landlady of the girl who's apartment I'm showering in and I was trying to tell her that I was feeding the cat but I messed it up horribly and told her that I ate the cat.

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